Fuck college.

I have never before wanted anything as much as I want to just not exist right now.

Day 12

Couldn't be more of a mess.
For to breathe,
used to be another way,
I'd take you in.

Day 11 - tonight, tonight

Creatures more than torn,
mourning our way home.

Day 10

There was love I meant.
There were accidents.
So tell me which is which,
because I just can't work it out.

Day 9

And I wondered how you were left unaffected.
You had no knowledge, the chemicals covered you.

Day 8 - mystic

Stop counting on the camera that hangs around your neck,
because you won't ever remember what you choose to forget.

Day 7

I love their love
and I am grateful.

Day 6 - distance healing

All else is sure to pass,
we clutch and grasp,
and debate what's truly permanent.
But when the wind starts to shift,
there's no argument.

Day 5

Just let me turn the amps way up,
so you can't hear a thing.

Let me go on.

Day 4 - true blue

Just say what you wanted to say.
I cannot stand these talks, dear,
They only get us nowhere.
It's never resolved.
We only run around.

Day 3

My darling what wonder have we wrought here?
It's weird and it's wonderful, dear.

Day 2 - hooded sweatshirt walks

You see your breath in the air
as you climb up the stairs
to that coffin you call your apartment.

And you sink in your chair,
brush the snow from your hair,
and drink the cold away.

You are not really sure
what you're doing this for
but you need something to fill up the days.

Day 1

Moving On

This song is summing up my life right now.




Well the future's got me worried such awful thoughts
My head's a carousel of pictures, the spinning never stops
I just want someone to walk in front
And I'll follow the leader

Now I'm trying to be assertive, I'm making plans
Want to rise to the occasion, yeah meet all their demands
But all I do is just lay in bed
And hide under the covers

Yeah I know I should be brave
But I'm just too afraid of all this change

And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt
I keep making this to-do list but nothing gets crossed out

But I'm trying to take some comfort in written words
Yeah, I heard your album and it's better than good
When you get off tour I think we should
Hang and black out together

Cause I've been feeling sentimental for days gone by
All those summers singing, drinking, laughin', wasting our time
Remember all those songs and the way we smiled
In those basements made of music?

But now I've got to crawl to get anywhere at all
I'm not as strong as I thought

So when I'm lost in a crowd, I hope that you'll pick me out
I long to be found, the grass grew high, I laid down
Now I'll wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand
I've been laying so long, don't wanna lay here no more

Everything that happens is supposed to be
And it's all pre-determined, can't change your destiny
Guess I'll just keep moving, someday maybe
I'll get to where I'm going

Alex's Photo!

This photo was taken by Alex Cyert.

alexcyert.blogspot.com

I reeeally like it.

On the way home held your camera like a bible.

Just wishing so bad that it held some kind of truth.

Ooooh I listened to so much Bright Eyes today. I used to listen to them 100% of the time and then I just stopped. I moved into the whole spiritual-awakening-of-Cassadaga thing. I have always felt that Oberst's musical metamorphosis was so similar to how my own life has changed. Or maybe it just inspired mine. Either way I am just so happy with the way my life is turning out. Ahhh, music provokes such strong emotion.